To my mother, Carolina

 

A kind heart, strength and extra white teeth that always popped up when you smiled, which you always did were your greatest characters. 

God blessed you with three children, two boys and a girl and for these three you would go to the moon and back to provide them with what they needed. You were not rich but you always tried your best to make ends meet for your family.

You were a single mother who worked as a shop assistant for as long as I could remember , that's the job that put food on our table and took us all through school. If you come from where I come from this is not a prestigious job neither is it a highly paying one but it gave us a roof over our heads and food on the table.

Life was never easy growing up nor was I raised by a rich mother but you sacrificed all you had for my sake. You took me from primary to tertiary education and the only way I ever imagined myself paying you back was through completing my studies , take care of you and give you the life that you deserved. The life that flew by when you were busy taking care of me.

Being the only girl in the family , you were not only my mother but a friend and a sister. Many are times that we often joked that I was your mother because I share the same totem with my maternal grandmother. Yes we were cool like that.

I remember screaming "mhamha" everytime I would see you approaching the gate from work and you would laugh or smile . Oh yes that infectious smile. 

For as long as I can remember you would always bring me goodies from work nomatter how old I got. For me they were more than goodies but a sign and promise that I will always be your baby nomatter what.

Its no secret that I am not a dancer but I remember many nights that I would dance for you in front of the mirror and you would laugh until your eyes were teary. You were my number one fan.

With the little we had life was fine until you were diagnosed with cancer while I was in my third year at varsity.

Cancer is a curse in my country, if you are poor you will never know until it's too late. Even if you know ,early detection means nothing in my country. For prognosis is like searching for a needle in a hay stack. In my country cancer is a death sentence for the poor. 

You were diagnosed with a cancer that doctors did not know anything about and this made it even harder to treat despite the fact that we could not afford the highly priced chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

The situation got tough each and every day but not a lot of people knew because mama you were a fighter and you were strong. I remember towards my graduation we both dreaded the journey because we all knew it was going to be tough for you to travel in your condition but you sacrificed your health just to see your daughter bag that degree. I was grateful but because I knew the pain you were going through ,I never enjoyed my graduation. Unlike most people I could see the pain behind your smile.

Doctors suggested home based care for you and this was the hardest time for me. Seeing you in that condition was the worst for me. Cancer was slowly taking away my Heroine from me but still I remained hopeful.

Time passed, we tried everything but eventually cancer won , it took you away from me. Cancer robbed me of a mother, friend and my knight in shining armour.I remember the night you took your last breath right in front of my eyes like it was yesterday.

 You left before you could even enjoy the fruits of your hard labour. You might have accomplished everything a single mother yearns to do , putting your children through school and watching them grow into young adults but we were not ready.

Yours is just but one of the many stories out there of strong women who are fighting different battles. 

This is a letter that you never got to read , despite all the challenges life threw at us I am proud to have been raised by a woman like you and the fact that I look like you is a bonus. You will always be celebrated.

To all the mothers out there, 

despite all the challenges you face you still soldier on to make life easy for us. On a day like this we are reminded of how special you are, your sacrifices and unconditional love.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers struggling with cancer .

Happy Mother's Day to all the single mothers who are single handedly raising families.

Happy Mother's Day to all the precious mothers out there.

Happy Mother's Day

Feministry!