You are Next





"You are next" is a phrase you hear a lot as a woman in her twenties who comes from where I come from. It doesn't matter where you're from, if you walk down the street, attend a funeral, family wedding or any gathering, you're always told you're next. Some even ask when you're getting married. Being a black African female in your twenties can be quite suffocating.


In African societies, marriage is closely tied to patriarchy and culture, which grooms’ women to be wives at an early age. It's a matter of raising a girl to be a good wife and daughter-in-law in our African society. When a girl hits her teens, she's constantly told to cook, bath and clean properly. This is to make sure she doesn't bring the family's name into disrepute when she gets married.

  Interestingly, all these things are taught to girls, but they're warned to stay away from boys. As soon as they get into their twenties the narrative changes, they are now being told to look for a partner and get married so that they fulfill their societal duty of being a wife. The pressure put on black females by society to get married can be quite suffocating.

The reason why I believe that we should all be feminists is that maybe for a second society would truly understand what it means to be female and the challenges that we face in our day to day lives.  Believe you me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with marriage. A personal decision to get married can lead to a very beautiful marriage filled with love, however being forced to get marriage like your whole life depends on it is an entirely different story. Let marriage be your dream not something that is forced on you otherwise it becomes a heavy load to carry.

Getting to the age of twenty-five without a ring on your finger is no crime. We are living in a world full of possibilities for everyone hence women should be given room to decide what they want to do. Females don’t have to get married if they do not want to and society should accept that.

As if the stares and humiliation of not getting married in your twenties are not enough, in an African society, there is no social respect for unmarried women. You might be rich and educated but as long as you are not married the African Society has no respect for you. It’s even worse when one is a single mother.

It is high time society allow women to exercise their autonomy when it comes to marriage. Women should marry to be happy not to please. One cannot get married unless they are ready to face marriage and all the difficulties it comes with.

Women are a diverse group of people. there are those who would gain happiness from marriage while others gain happiness from living their lives partner free.

You only get to be next when you are ready.

Feministry!

Nyaradzo Ennah Mutendera


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